I’m Still Learning How To Be

I am made of more than bones and breath

I am the rush of emotions that color my days.

The spark of silent realisations 

The tremble of vulnerability,

The courage it takes just to feel…

I carry memories in scent

The rain that smells like forgotten stories

The spice of home-cooked love,

The faint trace of perfume from a chapter long closed 

Yet still bookmarked in my heart.

I belong to the world through touch

The warmth of a hand that says “you’re not alone”,

The breath of the breeze against my skin,

The grounding of grass beneath my feet,

Reminding me, I’m connected to something infinite.

I see life in stories painted in light

In sunrises that promise beginnings,

In sunsets that whisper “let go”,

In eyes that shine with untold tales,

In colors, in shadows, in the beauty I choose to notice.

I am human,

Alive in every sense,

Breathing in the world

With all that I am

Feeling, touching, seeing, remembering,

Becoming- still learning how to be…

Repeat?

 Why I'm upset?

breakage of bond...

a support that is gone...

a comfort that was known...

I swear I didn't mean to rhyme,

it has happened on its own.

may be that's the thing

 l live on patterns that resonates 

well, but now it's time to heal from the core

it's not easy 

wounds will trigger

things would repeat

But  I have to be conscious always

and not just for this retreat

oh my God! I again repeat

the habit of rhyming

without intending to be

so, here's the thing 

it may be natural for me

to live on patterns

so let it be

let me create the ones 

which don't give defeat

and build me each day

without remorse or the guilt...

रंग

The Feeling

Give me your words or your silence

Give me your hand or a little distance

Give me mellow or raspy

or don’t give nothing at all

Give me your time to age with you

or give me your arms to die in…

Stay in the gamut of my eyes to see you

or keep that hope burning, you’ll be with me!

Don’t give nothing to me

You won’t give anything to me

You may not have a chunk to reminisce

You have flown far-off

I have run chock-full

Across you, Towards you and Against you!

I don’t remember how exactly we lived together

I don’t remember how exactly we shared our time

I don’t remember how exactly we fought

I don’t remember how exactly the time passed with you

And also without you…

But one thing, which is integral is “The Feeling” of being with you.

The Feeling  which belongs to you

The Feeling  which belongs to you and me

The Feeling which belongs to us

That feeling which binds us,

has been always constant in me…

And I enshrine it as it is…

And that’s something and the only thing

Which never has absconded me…

My reflexes work just the same

When I was with you

And now, when I only feel you…

And that’s how I’m always complete with you…

But, Only with you!

Awakening

From all the hash and the frailness

She felt the deepest gash in her bones

Being ceded was not a facile submission

But She tried and gushed out every inch of that worm

From her body and the soul

Instead of scorning and squabbling

She pared the abrasion

With the compassion

The way Enkindled her

She became a firestone

She always dreamt of having wings to fly up in the air

But now she knows, it’s not the wings which makes you soar

It’s the dimension in which you live by

It’s not the things, not the people, who make you rich and strong

It’s that eccentric force which keep you rock

She loves the place she lives in now

She has no rues and no gripes

She has supernal joy which she pined

It’s an awakening and not a revive!

Shattering Down

Where do I Belong

Something had been missing from the start

I kept searching it between the gaps of us

I was obsessed with the idea of love

To love, being loved.

That I forgot to ask

What do I want.

Who am I…

Where do I belong.

All this time

I have been lost

And this is the rust

On the treasure I may hold

So, A hello from me to myself

 I hope we meet someday

And to this journey of finding myself

I say cheers to be alone

So that I know

Where to stick

And from where to move on

And life however goes on...